Back at the pub again. Haven't been here in ages, but after the first five minutes of "where have you been," and "the prodigal son returns," it was if I never left. At least some things remain.
I only went because, well, I just needed to go somewhere...anywhere where there were people who say hello, and were friendly. And the free drinks keep appearing in front of me. And the shots - you can't forget the shots.
And she was right...evidently i'm somewhat attractive...there seem to be more woman than usual approaching me...must be that scent of despiration. I haven't made the leap of going home with one yet, but I did let one pick up my tab there, and at the next bar...and buy me dinner. I felt a little guilty at the end of the evening as I walked away, but not too much.
And there are the games I can play to amuse myself. Tonight I won't pay for anything...either someone else will pay for drinks and dinner, or I'll take the emergency exit. I guess sometimes I just need to know I still have the talent.
That, and calling the people in my address book...trying to at least pretend I have friends. Unfortunately, it ends up like a bad retelling of that scene in The Matador - where he realizes it's his birthday and starts dialing. And no one really wants to hear from him.
And who would want to hear from me?
I managed to make it home from the pub now, free tab, although I had 3-4 beers and 4-5 shots...I'm thinking a little music and then back out, into the breach.
...
Yes..you ask...the tab was taken care of. The dinner, well, that is to be delivered...so I assume I will have to spend the balance of the evening fending off advances. It happens. I developed it pretty well by now, although, left alone like this I can't think of why I should resist. I wait and wait, for love, although the rational reason eludes me.
Rational reason really has little part in it, though.
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